The weird sex rules of King Henry VIII’s Tudor England
Sex was strictly frowned upon in the early years of King Henry VIII’s reign — unless you followed certain rules. In fact, there were so many rules regarding when and how often you could have sex in Tudor England, it’s a wonder anyone was able to have any fun at all.
Some of the outlandish laws put in place in 16th Century England were apparently necessary, so that people would not be compelled to indulge in those awful “vices.”
Don’t get naked
For starters, sex was forbidden on Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays.
According to historian Lauren Johnson, people were also supposed to abstain from sex throughout Lent, Advent and Pentecost; when a woman was menstruating; when a woman was pregnant, and for a month after giving birth, and also when she was breast-feeding.
Sex was also forbidden before major holy days, three days before taking communion and during the day. Apparently, it was okay to have sex at night, so long as you followed all the other rules.
To make matters even more complex, you weren’t allowed to have sex when you were naked and not in any position other than missionary. Goodness knows how this was supposed to be monitored without CCTV vision.
No sex outside of marriage
In the 1500s, the church wasn’t yet in control of marriage ceremonies. If you wanted to get married, all you had to do was exchange your vows in front of a witness and then consummate the marriage. Sound simple? Not entirely.
There was a “marriage debt” that the church required so that you had permission to have sex, and that was producing a child — once you had marital sex. No sex before marriage.
Charles Brandon, a friend of Henry VIII, “married” a young woman, Anne Browne, in a ceremony that was said to be so vague, he was able to refuse to acknowledge she was his wife following the birth of their daughter.
Charles then married Anne’s aunt who was 20 years his senior. He spent the next couple of years…
